I know I don’t have much traffic with my little blog and I am okay with that. I don’t want this to become a job. But when a friend came to me wanting anonymously post, I gladly let her. I will pass on any comments, but she really just wants to be able to voice a struggle without being judged. So here is her voice…..
I got pregnant without much thought. My pregnancies were not due to planning or charting, but simply not preventing. Now we are trying again. This time is different though. We stopped preventing with the “it happened so fast before, this would be the ideal time to get pregnant”. Now a mere six months into it, I am not pregnant. This is where my struggle is. I know it takes people months and for some years of trying. I am just few months into this decision and I am getting impatient. I got pregnant before with no problem or time really. I am finding myself having a real struggle with actually thinking that we have to plan to get pregnant. I know you might say “well it hasn’t been that long” or “you want it and are thinking about it- so stop and do like you did before and have the ‘when it happens it happens’ thought again”. The thing is I can’t seem to stop the pregnancy ideas from entering. When I go online to just check emails really quick, I find myself on Amazon.com or Motherhood looking at clearance maternity clothes with the thoughts of ‘if I get pregnant now then I will need summer clothes’. And these searches just send me back into the impatient thoughts and frustrations that I am not pregnant yet. I am a sensible person and know not every pregnancy is the same. I just can’t seem to shake the feeling that I should be pregnant already.
So, of course, timing is everything. My trip- that I am already worried about keeping both boys entertained for many hours in confined airplane- is next week and “E” started teething. Yup, teething the front bottom two teeth. I mean crying for long periods with no real way to comfort. He tries to self-soothe with his thumb but it hurts his gums. Tiny amounts of Tylenol seem to help by taking just enough pain away for thumb-sucking to be soothing again.
I am just praying that the teeth either break through over the next few days or that I am able to soothe enough to not have screaming cries.
A while ago I posted here about “J” and if i should be worried that he isn’t talking more clear words…I realized in reading to “J” yesterday that he actually knows more than I thought. I was just focusing too much on the baby talk rather than on everything he does know.
I have been working with “J” on his numbers and letters- sitting down one-on-one during “E”s naptimes. And he has come so far- he can say “1,2,3,8,10”. Husband was impressed the other night as I held up letters for “J” and he would recognize and say “a,e,o,y,m,r”.
“J” also has added many more words/sounds to his vocabulary. Not only more words but putting words together too. He shocked me when he came to get my attention when we were outside and asked for “wa-wa”. “J” had never said “wa-wa” before so I was only halfway sure what he was asking for. I responded “you want water?” He smiled and pointed to the hole in the dirt saying “wa-wa boat peaz”. Yup, you read it right. “J” asked for water in the hole so he could float his toy boat and was polite on top of that with a please! My mouth dropped and of course I had to give him water.
I also (remember I was worried so I have gone a bit overboard) have been trying to get “J” to use more sign language if he can’t say a word. I have to remind him, but he can sign more and thank you.
So just when I start to worry about not talking, I get to brag as “J” language just seems to be exploding with new words everyday.
When Husband and I first started talking about having kids we thought we would want our kids about 2-3 years apart. Enough time to enjoy the “baby” in each of them. That being said- God had other plans for us. “J” and “E” are about 16 months apart.
This morning I realized after saying “Get off of your brother!” for the 100th time, that God knew that 16 months apart was better for our boys. At 16 months “J” really didn’t know about jealousy- or the purposeful hitting/pushing/falling on top that comes with that. Now at 2 years old, “J” knows all too well that he can push “E”s head to make him fall over. If “E” was newborn now, “J” would seriously outweigh and hurt; but “E” is 9 months and only 7 pounds lighter so he can handle “J”s pushes a lot more.
We still have crying, I repeatedly have to say ‘be nice’ and ‘do not hit’, and even the occasional time outs are given. But God definitely knew that our boys are better being closer in age- good thing He is the one in charge.
It’s these moments that I have to remind myself that my chores can wait and I just need to enjoy my boys.
I love doing craft projects. I do scrapbooks of all our family pictures. I make homemade ornaments of the kids handprints. But one thing I love doing the most is including “J” in my projects. He loves doing his hand prints in paint, so this year we have made Thanksgiving turkeys, Christmas trees gift tags, and today we made Valentine’s Day hearts.
After we made the hearts I let “J” just have fun painting on his own. He spent a good half hour just making different prints and mixing the colors with his stir stick. (I re-used “E”s old baby food jars so there was enough but not too much) He is becoming such a little artist in the making. (well at least that’s my biased opinion, but its my blog so that’s all you get)
When I ‘googled’ vacation with toddlers ideas- I got irritated with the results. Cruises and these all-inclusive resorts advertise two separate vacations. One for the parents lounging on the beach or at the pool; and one for the kids in the child care center being watched by strangers. These are TODDLERS! Babies that couldn’t tell you if things were wrong or inappropriate. This truly bugs me. Now don’t get me wrong. I understand needing a dinner out or adult time, I do.
But to me, a family vacation should be done as a family. Especially for those parents who work long hours, your kids want to spend time with you. When Husband walks through the door, both boys now are running or crawling as fast as they can to get into his arms. So I think our family vacation might be just visiting children’s museums and zoos and water parks. Just one-on-one time with the kids. Vacation is months away but I can’t wait!