I know I don’t have much traffic with my little blog and I am okay with that. I don’t want this to become a job. But when a friend came to me wanting anonymously post, I gladly let her. I will pass on any comments, but she really just wants to be able to voice a struggle without being judged. So here is her voice…..
I got pregnant without much thought. My pregnancies were not due to planning or charting, but simply not preventing. Now we are trying again. This time is different though. We stopped preventing with the “it happened so fast before, this would be the ideal time to get pregnant”. Now a mere six months into it, I am not pregnant. This is where my struggle is. I know it takes people months and for some years of trying. I am just few months into this decision and I am getting impatient. I got pregnant before with no problem or time really. I am finding myself having a real struggle with actually thinking that we have to plan to get pregnant. I know you might say “well it hasn’t been that long” or “you want it and are thinking about it- so stop and do like you did before and have the ‘when it happens it happens’ thought again”. The thing is I can’t seem to stop the pregnancy ideas from entering. When I go online to just check emails really quick, I find myself on Amazon.com or Motherhood looking at clearance maternity clothes with the thoughts of ‘if I get pregnant now then I will need summer clothes’. And these searches just send me back into the impatient thoughts and frustrations that I am not pregnant yet. I am a sensible person and know not every pregnancy is the same. I just can’t seem to shake the feeling that I should be pregnant already.