Jealousy

I am jealous. Sometimes this results in sympathy but more often it is accompanied with bitterness or utter lack of compassion. My kids have three sets, but don’t get to use any of them like I would love for them to- or like other kids get to use even just one. Any guesses?

I am straight up jealous of those that have grandparents around. I am sympathetic to those who are in the same position as myself. I am bitter when those who have it seem to take it for granted and assume it will always be there. I am bitter to those who tell me that it is my Husband’s and my choice and we should’ve chosen to live by a set. (Which we have, but other situations ended up that we moved away from them) Above all- I have an utter lack of compassion for those who complain about it.

So this is our story…When E was born, one set of grandparents drove down from Washington to be able to watch J. The other sets of grandparents are in Alabama and Nebraska..a long ways away from California. Grandparents returned to Washington a couple of days after E was born, and Husband was called back into work a mere 5 days after-rather than the 2 weeks we budgeted for. So I was left by myself with 16 month old toddler and new baby with only 5 days of recovery.

This story is where my dark side of bitterness and utter lack of compassion emerge…A friend’s wife had their second baby. Our friend took 7 days off at first then complained the whole way as he was called into work for a day; then resumed time off again with his family for another 3 days. I was sympathetic when he complained about being called into work leaving his wife with their toddler (3yr old) and the new baby…except she wasn’t alone! Her parents were helping out and her sister lived next door. Really?! She couldn’t handle two kids without her husband despite having family there?

Despite all the bitterness, I really am jealous of not being able to see those cute moments when grandpa and grandkid share a cup of milk and cookies, or grandma walking kids to park hand in hand. I get them once in a while when I visit or they come out here-but that usually isn’t untill the end of the trip. Kids this young just need time to get used to a new person-or one that they havent seen in months. There isn’t the moments of kids running yelling ‘granma! granpa!’. I know that will come as boys start to remember but its hard now.

So, to all those who have the grandparent/grandkids close by, be sure to enjoy the fact that they get to have a face to face relationship. And to those who developed and designed Skype, THANK YOU! Skype has made it easy for my kids to know the face and recognize the voices of Grandma K and Grandpa B. When J hears the call sound, he goes running for the laptop to start a conversation with the video.

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