Comparisons

I have to catch myself that I don’t try to compare my boys to each other or to other kids. I know each kid is an individual and has his/her own timeline. I do ok for the most part. I more note the difference between J and E than make comparisons.

For example: When J was 6 to 10 months we lived in very, very close corridors so J learned how to sit by himself and furniture stand around 7 months;while crawling J didn’t really start until later and only really got it around 8 months (army crawl) to 10 months(up off tummy). With E, we have more space so he learned how to army crawl much earlier 6.5 months and sitting up didn’t happen until maybe 8/9 months. I just noted the difference in learning to crawl as indicative of our living situations.

Now I am having the problem more with other people comparing and judging my sons. We have an acquaintance that has a son 2 weeks younger than E. Her son(call him C) is already walking (at 11 months); E is nowhere close to walking on his own. He will furniture walk, but that is pretty much it. E shows absolutely no interest in standing on his own or walking. If Husband or I hold his hands and try to get E to take a few steps, the whole time E is bending his knees trying to get down to the ground to crawl away. It seems like E figures he gets around just fine crawling or being carried.

But back to this acquaintance. With C walking already, I have other people asking if E is walking and when I respond with a simple ‘no’, I receive a look that says “well, why not? he is older he should be walking”.  So I end up almost having to justify why E isn’t walking yet. I add “yes he isn’t walking, but he also has a toddler brother that doesn’t want to share his toys. So J tends to push E to get him away from the toys. I bet C doesn’t have that competition and I bet he also gets a ton of help from his two much older sisters.” And I add in my mind so Lay Off! E will walk when he darn well wants to walk. I don’t see any teenagers still crawling so I am pretty sure E will figure it out eventually.

So what else can I say that will politely make people stop comparing my kids or at least make it clear I don’t want to hear it?

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