Frustrated

So I haven’t been able to post lately due to our stupid internet. It has been spotty at best which is even more frustrating with how much we pay each month for it. That being said, when we figure out how to get it stable, I will catch up on school and life stuff.
But here is a sneak peek:

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And a couple cute pictures of the growing-too-fast-kiddos:

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Awkward place

I am at a awkward place in my life. I mean I love where I am at, family-wise. I have an amazing husband that supports me in every way. I have been blessed with 3 overall healthy, loving kids. While my sister does live halfway across the country from me, I still feel like my family is close.
However, I am at an awkward place in clothes. I have been trying to come to grips with my post-multiple-babies-in-very-short-amount-of-time bod. I have stablized at a weight that while it isn’t my favorite isn’t bad. However my clothes seem to be lacking. I have a ton of jeans, but no real style. I look online and feel too old for popular clothes (ie-forever21, ae, hollister,etc), too underdressed (ie-no need for work attire aside from church), or that I would be trying too hard (too styled for a day at home with kids or out pushing kids in swings/playing in dirt at park). Clothes that I have in my closet are pre-baby (just fit different now) or in-between clothes (those that cover growing or shrinking baby belly). But I think my biggest problem is I really don’t know how to shop for me anymore. I can’t really drag 3 small kids to try on clothes. I don’t know what styles are ok for me (upper 20s but conservative mom). And styles that I like a lot, like white pants with cute top, are just so impractical that I end up closing my computer or running to kids store at mall instead.
So for now I guess I will be stuck in awkward clothes. Hopefully I will figure it out eventually. Until then I will be in my cheap-ish jeans and t shirts that get dirty in kids play.

Don’t like admitting it,but…

Despite me getting my degree in p.e. & health, I really don’t like working out. I prefer playing sports where you happen to be working out but are so distracted by the game you don’t think about the sweat or muscle burn. Being out of high school and having kids too young yet to join a rec league, sports have pretty much disappeared from my work out routine. So I have been toughing it out at a gym on cardio and weight equipment.
I don’t like admitting it, but….it has worked for me anyways. I have been working as I can with Husband’s crazy hours. So as much as I complain, it works the good old fashion way of getting your booty moving.
While losing baby weight and fitting back into pre-baby jeans feels great, the best result of the hard work is playing with the boys eventually all the kids. I can run with them and not have to quit before them because I can’t breathe. We can chase, tickle to uncontrolled giggles, and frankly just enjoy playing. Their smiles that don’t diminish are worth the muscles cramps, the lung burn, and all that work out crap. As a result I think I just have to continue to suck it up and keep facing the gym.
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Ps- I got my dad to join me in the foam run! We are t-minus 9 days from 3.2miles of foam, mud, and more foamy mud!

Do they not care?

It drives me crazy to walk up to the gym and see people smoking out front. After all the research and such, how can they still want to smoke. But besides that, do they really think that going to the gym will really make up for the fact that their lungs are covered in nasty tar?
Sure you could say I am just as bad because I indulge in a extra gooey grilled cheese or decadent dessert once in a while. Those aren’t the healthiest things to put in and definitely won’t be the best fuel. However, I can go without. I am not addicted.
I know to each their own. But I just can’t grasp the connection of gym and smoking or frankly smoking in general.

Just a vent

Husband has been in the same business (car sales) the whole time we have known each other. So I know the long odd hours. I married him knowing these hours pretty much won’t change.
However that doesn’t mean I like them. His hours are such that it makes having “couple” friends or even mommy friends really tough. In order to give kids most time with daddy I plan around his schedule;but this leaves limited mornings to play date. And then his long hours into night make it even harder to go out to gym, let alone taking a night off with other moms or having a bbq with other families.
Add the fact that Husband’s days off are Wednesday and/or Thursday, weekends when most have off-it is just mid week for us. So often I feel like a third wheel often at bbqs. I am the single, but married, parent with more kids in tow than those couples there. I am the wife that talks of her husband,but people have yet to meet or get to know. Or more often than not I don’t go or am not invited. I mean what fun is it to deal with 3 kids while trying to have adult conversation.
I am not writing this for sympathy or that. I just needed to vent. I know Husband works these long hard hours to provide the best for us; and I am above grateful that we can afford me to be home with our kids. I wish I could do more and be a better friend. But I can’t. I am busy trying to make non-normal hours try to seem normal.

Me time

I don’t really like posting about myself because I don’t the focus on me. I want the focus to be on my kids and how we are trying to be the best parents we can as we learn along the way. But I admit I have written about my hate relationship with running and how hard it is to lose that baby weight. This will one of those times again.

I still hate running. I have move past the think-every-bad-thought-about-myself stage and into the I-just-plain-get-bored. Yes my gym has tvs to help me from going crazy distract. I still get bored. I go about 2 miles jogging and then I just get bored with it. I don’t find a happy place or a sweet relief pushing farther or any of that. I get bored with the jogging pace and end up getting off treadmill and onto another machine (elliptical/bike/etc). Help. Is it a phase that I need to push through? Or is that just gym running at its finest?

Is it just me or does other moms get this: I have intense mom guilt if I am away from my kids for more than hour when I work out. I feel like I should be there at home and not doing a long work out. It is just me?

Ok. It isn’t all bad. It has been almost excruciatingly slow but it has worked. Since starting the exercise routine in January, I have lost all but 5 pounds of the 30 I put on with pregnancy! Yeah! While I am kinda scared to do crunches/sit ups-I think the tendon connecting the abdominal muscles has stretched out too from all 3 pregnancies being so close;which I know that if you work out those muscles wrong you can actually form the muscles out instead of flat. But either way, the scale is dropping ever so slowly and I am into the second smaller (of three) set of non-elastic banded pants.

And lastly, I had some “me” time and got my hair (highlights) touched up-and I got bangs! I needed a change and went for it.

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